#5 Delivery rider bit off customer’s thumb as teeth tore through him like ‘a chainsaw

#4 Man in white van offers child candy in Eastpointe, police say

#3 Drunk pilot caught with bottles of Jägermeister before flying plane thrown in jail

Well How Long was the flight?

No...Nard.

I mean, it’s probably boring in that cabin.

There are other planes in the air, dummy.

Not for miles!

#2 Woman ditches ‘toxic’ men and goes ‘boy sober’ after 16 years of non-stop dating

#1 Missing elevator sends New Jersey grandma down shaft as horrified granddaughter looks on

Bonus: Woman took luxury ‘mini-vacation’ to dump man’s body in SF Bay